A personal challenge as a way of getting to know myself

And breathe! I did it. Fourteen days of writing an article a day, with only one day off on Sunday. The result is twelve written pieces; a task I’d set myself with a deadline of three months, but completed in just two weeks. This piece is the last one in the series. But how to keep it going every day? And have I succeeded in my mental detox through this intensive and mindful approach? Time for a review.

It was very productive and very difficult, more so than I was expecting. The real challenges were: the thoughts that came up, particularly the ones that made me want to quit right in the middle; using mindfulness as the only way to keep it together when I was noticeably off-kilter; all the signs of moving onto a new level including turbulence and intensifying internal tumult; knowing full well that I was ending up with a ton of unresolved personal insights, and a clear sense of my own transformations.

One thing’s for sure: writers and bloggers who deliver great pieces every day over several years (!) are warriors of light, skilfully channelling the rays of their energy and skills into living in the “here and now” as much as possible.

It makes me smile when I read comments such as “how can I make myself write?” or “if I’ve nothing to say, then why should I write?” The thing is, not even I can just sit at a desk and write if I don’t have at least ten subjects (both concrete and abstract), which I urgently need to discuss with the world. And there are always two or three topics that are just coming into fruition (for example articles “Creating yourself anew with relationships”, and “The scent of sadness”, which I’d mulled over for months and are now the most popular articles on the site).

I write for one reason and one reason alone: I simply can’t not write. It makes sense to work on whatever gives you this gut-wrenching feeling inside, squeezing out every last drop of not just your fear but also your energy – but only on one condition: if the universe makes it impossible not to.

          If you are able not to write – don’t write

 But in any case, you should know that words are the new currency of our times and this internet is its domain.

I’m always surprised to see people who can write but don’t put this gift to good use. Instead they take the art of beautiful writing for granted, without thinking. Yet this very skill is essential in the rules of this new game of our contemporary reality, where life irrevocably seeps into the internet. Those who can write are sitting on a gold-mine and it’s amazing how many don’t tap into what lies at their feet.

You can solve absolutely any problem with a single well-composed letter.

– Someone clever

 I came away from my New Year Reboot having made a profound decision in response to my soul’s persistent effort to take my life to the next level: “Let business be run by those who cannot writers”. At that time I had been consumed with the process of transcending to the next level; I was at the start of a new round of project development, getting ready to present the business component in all its glory. But something inside was resisting. I was able to recognize this yearning to write and look it straight in the eye, and I decided to focus on just creating, instead of the business world. Let the kids play their game.

And so I came to the point of being able to “just write”; closer than ever before. I already had offers from two publishers for my book on establishing online processes and support for complex online literature on financial returns. Writing and creating – in the palm of your hand.

Before starting this challenge I didn’t even realize that this test-drive into daily writing was exactly what I needed to tune into its persistent rhythm. A marketer was trapped inside me, and she was holding a one-woman protest, demanding to be recognized as the rightful master of my spiritual equilibrium.

A council was created: the inner writer, the marketer and me.

“Guys, seriously – what the hell? Whenever I try to help one of you, I’m met with so much resistance. Can’t we just all just get on? Firstly, I’d like to introduce you to each other,” I said, as chairwoman and primary stakeholder of my soul.

“I’m a writer, I don’t want to have to make big decisions – I want to write deep and meaningful pieces that keep the reader enthralled to the very last word. I’m talking about writing that revolutionizes people’s lives, bringing them face to face with their own delusions and so enabling them to transcend them. I want to write a book so absorbing that people will skip work just to keep reading. This is the kind of book we’re talking about – if you’ll let me. Hi!”

“Well I’m a marketer and a visionary – I am full of ideas and I want to make as many as them a reality as possible.  I also have plenty to say about the ridiculous stereotypes about the market, business and life. To date, I have never sold an idea that hasn’t been profitable, from adverts to hotels, tours and even pieces of Bali. But these things are all pretty small-time; I need my own large-scale project now. Here’s the first list of myths that I need to refute, using my experience:

  • A businessneeds capital and/orlargeinvestments to take off
    • It takes years to make any profit
    • Women can’t combine business and family
    • You’ll never develop anything worthwhile in Russia
    • Business is always a bloodbath: there’s no room for hearts and souls
    • Effective advertising requires a large budget
    • You can’t sell in low season
    • There is no such thing as good employees who will put their souls into a project – you need shackles and whips to keep them in line
    • The market is unstable; we’re in a recession; on the brink of war and devastation: we are all going to die before we even get started

And so on. I know what I’m doing. Just give me time, energy and the permission to act.”

“Guys, this is all great. You really have a good attitude. Ok, so let me introduce myself, too. I’m the Woman. I want to get married and have children. So how are we going to combine all of this?”

I realized that Writer wanted to wax lyrical about daily writing being the key to perfecting the craft, while Marketer simply wouldn’t be able to realize her ideas if all the creative energy was handed over to writing. And yet they both sat in delicate silence, each understanding that inner peace and friendship were our common goals. Without this there was no way of moving forward.

“Ok, so how about if Writer does all the writing and Marketer does all the promoting. That would work, right?” I suggested earnestly.

“Second fiddle,” sighed Marketer, sadly.

“That would be like asking me to be in charge of copywriting Marketer’s ideas, with no room for me to shine in my own right,” came the compassionate response from Writer.

It seemed these guys understood each other better than I did.

“Right, so you each need your own complete leading role. Would you be prepared to assist each other as needed? Writer needs to be writing powerful pieces, whereas Marketer needs a massive project to develop – but are you ready to accept that neither one of you can ever have 100% of the energy? It will always be a balancing act, and you’ll have to relinquish some of your own resources to each other, whenever necessary. For my part, I promise to never prioritize one of you over the other again. You each have a 24.5% share, given that I, as the Woman, am entitled to a greater share than both of yours. We’ll share our resources as appropriate, and always   prioritize internal balance and high energy. What do you think?”

“Yes,” came the united reply from my inner parts, “we agree.”

“And when I, as the Woman, am ready to realize my own objectives, can I count on your professional support?”

“You bet!” beamed Writer, “If you like, we could write you an awesome profile on a dating site that would be impossible to scroll past?”

“Oh, no, no. But thanks for the offer,” I smiled.

“Well if we need to be smart in promoting our self or effectively selling our point of view, we’ll organize everything at the highest level,” winked Marketer.

“Noted. I in turn will help with distributing energy so that you each get enough, keeping our home in order and showering you each with my love. Let’s have a little hug.”

With the marathon of daily writing at its end, I’m off to recharge and reflect on the ideas that came to me during this period. But you can still contact me and I’ll be back really soon with fresh material.

Thank you for being here!

Challenges in life are healthy. They help us turn our attention away from the mundane, and open the door to a stream of brand new possibilities.

Ever yours,


P.S. Smiles!

Photo By: Avita Flit special for re-self.me

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